She headed for the door

Wooden Sr. often would break into a chorus of "she ripped and she roared and she headed for the door, but her bowels over took her and she crapped on the floor, shave and a hair cut, two bits." We never knew if that was all there was to the song or not.

What's that you have on?

Jerry Sr.'s standard reply to someone who might notice that he had a nice aroma. The conversation might go like this "Something smells good...what is that you have on?"....."I have a hard on, but I didn't know you could smell it".

Turtle

"You are slower than a turd of hurdles" Sometimes, "Off like a turd of hurdles"

Mucking Fuch

"Screw you, your not so mucking fuch". Jerry Sr used the switched letter to avoid using profanity when trying to make a point.

Trees

"You can't see the forest for the trees" was an often used end to an argument by Jerry Sr.

Jamaica

When hearing some one speak of Jamaica, Jerry Sr. would quickly say, "Jamaica, hell no, I didn't even kiss her".

Rectum

When Jerry Sr. would hear someone speaking of the anatomical location called the rectum he could immediately say "Rectum my ass, you almost Killed'em".

On Getting Older

"If I'd known I was going to live so long I would have taken better care of myself"

On Being Old

"Getting old stinks, but it beats the alternative."

Eschew

Eschew Obfuscation
Means: avoid making anything difficult to understand

Caparocity

How is your Caparocity Sigasigating?

This is a general greeting meant to determine if you are paying attention.- Jerry jr


Sometimes he would say, "It's not broken, is it?" -Walt

Do What I Say

"Do what I say, not as I do."

Seeing the inconsistent nature of this saying, son Steve Sr did not want to have his son (Steve Jr) find fault. As it was being passed down an additional generation Sr. used creative license and he changed it to the following:

"Don't do what I do until you know what I know." - Steve Sr. 1956-

You Can Count On

The only things that you can count on are death and taxes.

Your Actions

Your actions speak so loudly that I can't hear what you say!

Trust

"dont trust nobody, not even your own papa"  Wisdom the old man would pass along to us whenever we got screwed on something.

People

"People are no damn good"

Old man's sayings

Family are like fish - after three days they both start to stink.