His favorite race horse

When he smelled a fart he would say "Hoof Harted"

The P is silent

When someone asked about a word with a silent P in it, he would always say the P is silent just like the Pee in swimming. Which always got a blank stare from people.

When wanting seasoning at the table

He would say "pass the salt and pecker" Or "Pass the salt Walt" because it rhymed.

Advice for children

Children should be seen and not heard. Go play in the street.