When getting a bad deal

He would say, “I've been screwed without the benefit of intercourse.”

You've been so sweet

He used to say, “You've been so sweet since the baby came.”
I don't know what that means. I need some help here.

The whole family

He would say the whole fam damnly

Fox a finder lies close behinder

Where the smell is, that is close to the person that created it.

Hors D'oeuvre

Instead of calling appetizers "Hors D'oeuvre", as they would be appropriately called, Jerry Sr would call them " Horse's Doovers".

Coming?

When Jerry Sr was asked, " Are you coming?" He would say, " No, I am just breathing hard."

When traffic is very heavy

He would always say “Terrific Traffic”

When someone says a negative thing about him

He would say, “I represent that remark.”

A backwards complement

You are a smart feller, oops I meant to say you are a fart smeller.

(side note: I'm not sure what order he said it in)

When signing a piece of art

He would sign pottery that he made by signing: Another goode'n by Jerry Wooden

When sort of tired

he would say, “I'm too pooped to pop.”

When very tired

He would say “I'm going to piviot and pass out.”

When telling someone off...

He would say, “Up your giggi with a boat hook sideways.”