Have to pee?

Yes, I have to pee and I just shined my shoes.

Raining Hard?

Yes, it's raining like a tall cow pissing on a flat rock.

Racehorse

When Jerry Sr had a very full bladder, he would say "Out of my way, I have got to piss like a racehorse."

Dad would break out in song sometimes singing "Leprosy"

Leprosy oh my god I've got Leprosy There goes my eye-ball Into my high-ball.
Leprosy oh my god I've got Leprosy There goes my chin friend  Into my gin friend.
Leprosy, oh my god I've got Leprosy, There goes my ear dear it fell into my beer dear.
Kiss me quick, there goes my upper lip dear.

Why did the leper lose the poker game?

Because he threw in his hand.

On losing your keys

If you lost your keys the old man would say, "if you lose your old keys you won't get any nooky."

When someone comes in the door he would say;

Take your hat and jack-it-off.   I'm still not sure what that means.

I am all yours

When feeling particular close to someone, Jerry Sr. would say, " Call me Pee Pee because I am all Ur'ine (Yours)."

Facts?

When someone would ask if a particular issue was "right", Jerry Sr. would respond,  "It may not be right, but its a fact."

Is it Sunday?

When someone asked if today was Sunday, Jerry Sr. would say, It is Sunday all day.....unless it rains".

What is your name?

When asked "What is your name, his response was "My name a Jose Jimenez".